Self Defense

In a strange way my wife and I have been slowly going down the path to carrying pistols for self defense. Not only was this a far thought in our minds not too long ago, but we are both still uncertain if this is the right thing for us to do.

The first thing that happened is we moved from a liberal leaning area of California to a quite conservative area. In this new place the Sheriff thinks it is quite acceptable, and constitutional, for citizens to carry self defense weapons. Second my adult son wanted to own a rifle which I had not problem with. In fact we pooled our money to buy a gun safe. I then bought a .22 rifle for myself. I had had a .22 rifle for several years a couple of decades back. They are accurate, fun to shoot, have almost no recoil, and the cartridges are cheap. "Plinking" at tin cans was always a lot of fun.

I made another gun purchase mostly out of protest. Both the California laws and federal commentary suggested gun and ammunition ownership was being attacked. To me this was contrary to the constitution. I bought a semi-automatic pistol out of spite and to make a statement. I was not thinking of self defense at that time.

I believe that the 2nd amendment was ratified with much forethought. There were obviously good reasons for implementing the 2nd amendment, and to me tyranny was one of them. We elect our officials and expect them to work on our behalf. If they turn against us we need the ability to confront them. Of course this seems ridiculous today but there are hints that things are going in that direction. I'm not saying any conditions exist today, but who knows what will happen ten or twenty years down the line. I do firmly believe that if the citizens are not allowed to arm themselves any negative turns the government could make would be accelerated.

I say if the 2nd amendment is to be overturned then let it be so, not by imposing restrictions at the state and federal level or by executive action, but by a constitutional amendment.

It turns out I didn't like shooting the semi-automatic 9mm pistol because it had such a big recoil, and twice I cut my hand open because I wasn't paying enough attention to the slide and my hand position. Instead I decided I liked the .22 format, and wanted to shift away from a semi-automatic to a revolver. The revolver wouldn't have the slide issue, and the pistol wouldn't have the kick with the smaller ammo. I did some research and decided which pistol I wanted. My wife then bought, as a gift, the more traditional looking long barrel .22 10 shot revolver with wooden grips that I do so much enjoy plinking with.

We began to be aware of the increase in violent crimes in our area, and most of them involved a man attacking a woman in all sorts of venues around the city. My wife started carrying pepper spray, and then a stun gun. We talked a little about carrying a self-defense pistol and that conversation kept popping up over the next few months.

About this time I realized that I would go to the range with my son and shoot the .22 rifle and pistol but still didn't like shooting the 9mm semi-automatic. I then traded in the 9mm semi-automatic for a 9mm revolver. This was the first gun that I would consider a carry size pistol. It wasn't a plan to carry at that point, but that thought was a very small part of the decision. I really just wanted to shift from the semi-automatic to a revolver more than anything else. I didn't want anything large or heavy. And I did have a few hundred rounds of 9mm that I could still use. I liked the revolver and the use of "moon clips" to load the gun. Again self defense was just a passing conversation at this point.

My wife and I continued to talk about self-defense when I began to realize she felt the potential need to carry herself. This seemed to be born out of a combination of concern about local events as well as the very real potential that she would one day be living alone in our house. Not only was I seven years her senior, but women tend to live longer than men, and my family has a history of passing about or before age 75. My wife's family tended to live longer. So she had the concern that she may living in this house for ten to twenty years after I'm gone. She feels unsafe if she goes shopping and is walking through a parking lot or entering/exiting her car. She has also ceased to walk on a popular trail in our area because women have been mugged there. We both felt the need to have protection once about a year ago when we came across a charging dog and homeless man on a forested trail. And I have had a bear cross my path on a trail nearby. We've also had a bear in our back yard three times. Most likely a bear will run away if we show up, and we are unlikely to stop a bear attack with a pistol, but we'd feel better having a gun in those cases.

We decided the next move would be to go to the local indoor shooting range and try out a pistol she had heard about, one small for carry purposes. We did just that, taking my 9mm revolver along to compare. There was no comparison. The .380 she was looking at was much smaller, and had much less recoil than my 9mm. On the way home from the indoor range we stopped at a gun shop and bought that ,380 for her.

Without too much more conversation we decided the next step would be to take the required 8 hour CCW permit class. By the time we scheduled the class and attended it we had begun to dig into the whole realm of self-defense with the aid of a CCW. During that time it became real that there could possibly a time in my future when I could be in a position to defend myself or my family, or perhaps someone else, with the pistol I would carry. I wasn't sure about my ability to shoot another human being.

While not a big part of the story I decided to buy a duplicate of my wife's pistol mostly due to lower recoil. It would actually hurt to shoot the 9mm pistol, but I still was going to keep that gun too.

Here I sit two weeks after the CCW class going through the 10 day waiting period. When we receive the new gun we will fill out the CCW forms and turn them in. Each of us will register all three pistols, the 9mm revolver and the two .380 semi-automatics.

In the mean time I've been reading a large book which contains information all about self-defense. I've also been watching youtube.com videos about shootings, both by police and citizens. I have two major concerns.

My first concern is I would use poor judgment in a self-defense situation and shoot somebody when it really wasn't called for. I'm now 70 years old and am fully aware that my physical and mental reaction time are that of a 70 year old man, not a 30 year old. How could I take the time to analyze the situation when there are often just seconds of time between realizing my life was in danger and the need to pull the trigger - or not.

Could I shoot somebody on purpose in a self-defense situation? Yes if the danger was clear. But would I know if the danger was clear? I'm just not sure. I would want time to asses the situation but I doubt if I'd have the time. I'm not hot-headed so I'm more likely to fail on the side of not doing something quick enough, rather than on the side of doing it irrationally.

My second concern is being put on trial for the action of shooting, and possibly killing, someone. Even the police are scrutinized when they use their pistol. It saddens me to see our public servants being raked over the coals when they have just done their duty while following protocol. Yes there can be errors, or even bad cops, so action is taken in every case until they are cleared. But I'm not a cop.

I believe I'm in a different place on this issue than my wife is. Being a woman is more at risk than being a man when it comes to personal attacks. Living alone is a scary proposition. Age doesn't seem to matter much. Older women are attacked or raped too.

I do intend to complete the process of obtaining a CCW permit. I also believe that there will be situations when I feel it would be best to carry a pistol, I'm thinking of walks in the forest mostly. But I doubt if I will carry regularly.

Relief

I held little hope that Hillary Clinton would be defeated in the 2016 presidential election. The country had endured eight years of liberal control, peppered with executive orders, slowly drawing the country deeper and deeper into unrecoverable disaster. We may actually never recover from the damage already done.

I didn't realize what was happening to me but each night as a crawled into bed my mind would rapidly go through the condition of our country. I would feel stressed, sad, and helpless. I say I didn't realize what was happening because this wasn't a conscious process, it was just my mind getting ready for rest, if there was to be rest.

Then lo and behold Trump won the election. I was both stunned and elated. I had no idea if Trump would ultimately be better than Clinton. He makes radical and unpredictable statements. There was so telling in what direction would he take the country. None-the-less uncertainty was a better option in my mind than the certainty that Clinton would continue the downward spiral that we've had for eight years. Even if Trump reversed a few things that Obama effected that would be positive.

So I was surprised, and it took me a couple of days to realize it, that my just before bedtime routine was one of peace and relief, followed by a good night's sleep. And it just gets better and better.

So far, and today is just December 11, 2016, the appointments and the comments made by Trump have been much better than I thought they would. Things could change and he could make some colossal blunders, but it is possible Trump will be a good president.